just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
