I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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