I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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