So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
