I have demons in me.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
