Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
false alarm, still single
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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