Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
They are going to name an STD after you.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
