Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
