I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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