i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
