no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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