We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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