i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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