: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
