well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
soo... how was my night?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
