Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
