i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
This is classic penis vs brain.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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