I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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