So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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