so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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