is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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