let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
