I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
