Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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