Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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