What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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