I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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