Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
