I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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