Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
