Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
