Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
