I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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