I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
