; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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