is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
