Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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