Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
