There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
