Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I wish you could order shots online.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
