I hate your face
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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