I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
