im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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