Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
