my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
