I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
