i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
