Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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