For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
my being single is dangerous.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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