You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
